It’s one of those topics that you are passionate about or you really don’t care or perhaps you are middle of the road.
For me I am kinda stuck in middle of the road – don’t care.
With Eliza I was Natural Birth all the way here I am labouring away
no drugs you know the type! The excitement of my first child meant at 7 days post dates I couldn’t wait and asked to be induced what followed was a long labour over 2 days, and a emergency cesarean and me nearly loosing my life.
Here I am going into theatre the look of utter devastation is so apparent. Tears stopped for this and started straight after
My 2nd child I planned a home-birth,
I was refused by my hospital. Refused? I’m sorry are you the law? No you’re not and neither am I, but no one tells me how I shall birth my baby except me.
I fought hard I wrote letters to the Prime minster, I wrote to my local MP and I wrote to the Chief exc at the local hospital. I got replies from them all supporting me. I got my home care and I got my home-birth planning on the go.
at 40 weeks I was deemed “OVERDUE” I laughed and reminded the midwife that 40-42 weeks was “NORMAL” and that I wouldn’t consider myself overdue until I hit 42 weeks THANKS.
Except that by their dates I was 40 weeks by MY dates I was 41 weeks.
I approached 42 weeks (their dates) and really was quite over it, for 3 weeks I had, had pre-labour my birth pool had been filled 3 times, I had contacted friends telling them I was in labour, my waters even broke.
I was starting to get worried by my dates I was now 43 weeks and I was so sure of my dates I was HUGE I was having trouble walking, getting out of bed, I needed help with my shower, getting dressed, undressed I was crying daily and having contractions for hours on ends and I was also looking after my nearly 2 year old. I gave up and said you know what… cut him out.
I had my 2nd c/section and it was FANTASTIC amazing maternal assisted c/section went so well I was like, hell yes I’ll do this again, and again and again!!
But there is something else there, every time I read a birth story, every time I read a VBAC story a HBAC story. I think that could of been me Except once again I gave up and I said “F it c/section” I wasn’t patient.
My desire for a natural birth hasn’t left me, I doubt I’ll ever get one now, I’m not sure why I want to labour for hours on end and push a pineapple out of my vagina but I do.
And in the back of my mind is knowing exactly when your baby will be born, knowing the dates.
I’m just not one for uncertainty.
I wish I was more patient perhaps then I would be less disappointed in myself.
I would like to add that I don’t feel bad for my kids on their arrival into the world they are healthy and loving life, I just have selfish feelings of me and my body failing.
And I am sure many can relate to this.
But really it’s OK it’s OK there are MUCH more important thing to worry about like what the hell am I meant to do with all my window ornaments now my 2nd born is walking!!!
Nat, I totally understand what you mean. I wanted to go drug-free with Lauren’s birth, ended up with labor from hell and an epidural. I was so disappointed in myself, especially when a ton of my friends went on to go natural after me. I still think about what I could have done differently, but it doesn’t do me a damn bit of good. Luckily, things couldn’t have gone better he 2nd time around. But it could have easily not been the case. There are so unknowns and things out of our control. What I think is great is that you are so knowledgable and were able to ask for what you wanted the second time around. I’m so glad you had a great experience. Before you, I had never even heard of a mother-assisted procedure before. (And from a person who is still recovering from pushing a pineapple out and can’t take a shit without crying and bleeding…I’m not sure that’s something I’d wish on anyone!)