Suburbanmummyuk's Blog

This wasn’t taken at the supermarket but I think it sums up how I was feeling 2 hours ago.

I cleaned my fridge today and realised once I had thrown away the lettuce I planed to make Cesar salad with and the zucchini I planned to make into a pasta bake and some very old squashed brown and blue brie, my fridge was in fact bare….

I hesitated wondering if at all possible I could avoid going to a supermarket until Saturday morning, would it be ok to not have any Fresh juice? Would it be OK not to have any bin liners. would it be ok not to feed my children until then? My guilty conscience took over and I decided we HAD to go. I am currently refusing to shop at Tescos, it’s all a bit political and I don’t want to get into it unless I get really hacked off or more than 5 people comment and ask me why. I hate the local sainsburys it’s full of people with Croydon Facelifts and people with words like “Innit” in their vocabulary and I get pissed off just being near them. Hello if you are from Croydon, still with me?

Off we went to the only place where I think I can cope. Waitrose it’s full of the elderly and middle aged I love it, they talk to the kids and they walk slowly meaning I can charge around them at 30 miles an hour throwing things into my trolley which I keep, keep calling a stroller. I also have fast track which means I scan my own shopping bag it and leave. no Queues.

Eliza proceeded to touch every single item as I selected a cucumber I saw her throwing red peppers from one basket into the other. I shot a look a round me and exclaimed what are you doing? “NUFFINK” Well that’s good I said. Then she touched something else and I got “a look” so I crouched down and said “If you don’t start to behave I shall get the manager of the shop to talk to you” she looked like this

Good… Jerry started to ask for a “cuggle” and proceeded to lunge his head into me. I grabbed some strawberries and then I heard a dreadful smash. I knew straight away it was my little scanner thingy. I ignored it while I picked my strawberries. I turned around to a member of staff holding it. “Oh thank you I said” and she said “shall I put this in your trolley?” “no thanks I need it as, you know I’m shopping” “these cost  two thousand pounds” she said to me. I had a vision of clubbing her in the head with it, I was willing for my child to burn his retinas out with that and now you are telling me not to let him as it cost two thousand pounds. OK fair enough. Jerry throws HUGE tantrum and I have to them finish the rest of my shopping with a out of control 17 month old in my arms.

Next time I will let the kids starve it’s gotta be better than shopping with them.

I jest we also have takeaway.