Suburbanmummyuk's Blog

I expect  nothing from my children (obviously) as they are so young but even as they grow and get older I expect nothing from them.

I had a very good childhood and then from the age of 13 my world got increasingly awful. My adoptive mother was a demanding woman she expected the world to come to standstill on mothers day and expect us all to come bearing gifts and despite always saying it doesn’t matter, I want nothing it mattered a HELL of a lot to her and if you didn’t get something that cost your life savings she’d give this weak smile and hugyou with disappointment in her eyes. While you felt incredibly bad that you hadn’t started saving earlier. She expected tea in bed, well she did anyway every day of the week, even when I was leaving for work at 6.30am I had to bring her tea, but Mothers day was different, I couldn’t cook and we couldn’t afford to eat out anywhere so we were saved in that respect and she got that. So often we’d go to a friends house and hang out there. But she’d still expect to be waited on hand and foot. Like a Queen. Then at the end of the day she’d behave like I’d done nothing and that my siblings didn’t care and she’d cry and well say a lot of hurtful things to me.

My memories of  one mothers day is all emotional blackmail with some extras thrown in for actually working a 12 hour shift that day. I struggle to forget memories on poignet days such as these.

I know one shouldn’t let the past affect them and that these things that happened, happened a very long time ago but I can’t forget. I can forgive, she is a very sad, damaged woman, but I just can’t forget and I can’t ever place expectation upon my children to give on Mothers day ever. if they choose to then that’s great and I’ll of course appreciate it. But mostly I just hope that they are always nice and loving towards me. Just as I am to them your really can’t want or expect anything more in life.